A local Malay tabloid has recently revealed that a Datuk who claims to have married a Bunian princess by the name of Tengku Puteri Jasnita has set up a
I can hear some of you already thinking - Bunian, WTF !!??
Okey, for the benefit of you Starbucks coffee gulping folks who don't know what is a Bunian, I'll just tell you and save you some time from Googling for the answer. A Bunian is a mystical being in Malay folklore similar to an elf. Yes, they're like those creatures in the Lord of the Rings.
Anyway, it is believed that although the Bunian usually inhabit the forests, some are known to live near the Kampungs. According to folklore, the Bunian exist in large communities, similar to human social structures, with families and clans.
In remote Malay villages and Orang Asli settlements, it is not unusual to hear reports of human beings interacting socially and even commercially with the Bunian folk. Because of this, claims of "mix marriages" between the communities are also rather common. There are rumours that the Bunian are planning to form their own political party, in the hope that one day a Bunian leader will emerge to become the Prime Minister of Malaysia. Well, this is only a rumour, please don't believe in rumours. Believe instead in the Bunian.
Back to the Datuk and his
However, there is a fundamental difference between the two men. While fans of George Soros read the Wall Street Journal for financial wisdom, investors of the Datuk are told to read the Chow Kit Journal also called the Kitab Bunian (Bunian bible). The Kitab Bunian is an important read to the Datuk's investors because it is said to reveal the teachings of the Bunian princess - the Datuk's wife.
Whatever the case, the Kitab Bunian surprisingly mentions nothing about finance. According to an ex-investor, the Bunian bible teaches, among other things, sexual freedom. Yes, you read it right - investors are encouraged to have f*ck buddies amongst themselves. The reason for this is presumably so the investors can better exchange investment strategies with each other, while in the pretzel position, in bed. For these newbie investors, the best has yet to come - the Datuk "George Soros" Bunian will teach them all how to really get screwed, soon enough.
If having f*ck buddies isn't fun enough, all the investors are told to stain three fingers of their right hand with henna to purportedly protect and guarantee success of their investments. These "henna fingers" sex maniacs are assured that they can then dip their fingers into many "pies" without attracting any bad luck. This petua (folk remedy) is so powerful that some even believe that just by showing the middle (henna stained) finger to their enemies will cause their enemies to experience serious financial trouble. I know that successful gardeners are called green fingers, but this is the first time I learn that successful investors are called 'henna fingers".
To help them better manage their time to focus on investment related activities, such as spending time with their fu*k buddies, these investors are exempt from saying daily prayers to any god or attend any place of worship, as they they are told that they themselves are gods and can do as they please.
A well known Nigerian
The well dressed
Despite all the fun seemingly experienced by the Datuk and his investors, I cannot recommend anyone to invest in this trust fund because his business focus is uncertain - the Datuk can't decide whether he wants to be a George Soros or a Hugh Hefner. Maybe he wants to be both. What a terrible dilemma he has.
If you find this story unbelievable, you should proceed to read about the Powerful Bomoh In Pahang For Power And Wealth.
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